sharing your survivor story

Andre Watters 44 took his life last November. According to an Associated Press article a pathologist, "... told the newspaper the signs of depression that family members described Waters as exhibiting in his final years likely was caused by the brain trauma. Had he lived, Omalu said, the former player would have been fully incapacitated within 10 years".

After performing an autopsy the pathologist indicated there was severe damage to the brain.

There is great concern by Water's family about sending football players back on the field after a concussion. They feel this shouldn't be happening.

Another family devastated by suicide.

I have started college and have begun working on my Masters of Counseling Degree. I will probably have less time to blog but I hope to share some of my thoughts.

I hope that you will start your own blog and let me know about it so I can read your thoughts.

Take care and say a prayer for the Water's family.

Another suicide: You may remember him for his song writing and her for acting, but they too have experienced a suicide. Burt Bacharach and Angie Dickinson are famous people. But on January 5th their grown daughter took her life. Her name was Nikki Bacharach. My heart goes out to the family.

Every seventeen minutes a family is devastated by a life ending choice. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, famous or infamous, suicide touches lives.

Nikki who was 40, suffered from a form of autism. According to the statement the family released she died quietly and peacefully.

What was Nikki like? What mountains did she climb? What pain caused her to do this? Was she depressed or just tired?

When was the last time you laughed Lea Nikki Bacharach? When did your sadness start to out-weigh your joy?

And so the Oscar-winning composer who wrote such songs as "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" and "What the World Needs Now Is Love" inhabits a world filled with rainy days and needs lots of love, and support.

And Ms. Dickinson who was the star of the TV show "Police Woman" will find herself in a role that can take all of one's strength. This script will be your greatest challenge.

And so another Mom and Dad grieve and their hearts break. Home movies will bring only pain and holidays will never be the same. You can continue on--others have and it is my prayer you will too.

I'm sorry Burt and Angie.

Today is my son's birthday, or would have been if he was alive. Perhaps today is his birth date instead of birthday. This is the seventh birthday since he decided life was not worth living and acted on that feeling.

So much has changed from today than the first one in 2001. In 2001 I bought Dennis a birthday card and wrote him a letter and cried a lot. Today at the grocery store I didn't buy a card, I haven't written any letter, and so far I haven't cried.

In January 2001 the day was a Saturday also.

I was in an emotionally-filled painful daze in 2001. Reeling from disbelief and wondering why. Today my pain and emotions are distant, but still there. Today I understand all the risk factors that led to that life-and-death decision. Today I understand why he did what he did. Today instead of painful I am grateful that the last words we said to each other were words of love.

I have spent seven years working at healing and God has helped me assimilate his death into my life to help others heal.

Thank you God and happy birthday Dennis!

Healing after the Suicide of a Loved One is another book I have. It is written by Ann Smolin and John Guinan. It contains a lot of good information about healing. It is important reading since it approaches healing from the angle of the spouse or sibling.

One statement on page 92 tries to explain how the death of loved by suicide can be viewed. "The loss of a loved one by suicide is the worst thing that will ever happen to you." I'm not sure I agree, but it is certainly terrible. I think the authors indicated how bad it is because of the guilt that is many times the result of a loved one completing suicide.

Suicide is usually viewed as preventable. We have many layers of protection within our society to prolong life, and it is so awful when holes develop in those layers of protection, and someone takes their life. It seems so wrong, so wasteful.

I believe that there is little one can do if a person is determined to take their life. Unless there is around-the-clock protection and restraint, the person will succeed.

The book has some excellent suggestions regarding support groups;a group of people who have experienced a similar situation can benefit greatly from talking it over, and over, and over. If you have lost a loved one to suicide, I would encourage your to find, or start, a support group.