Sunday, February 18, 2007
X Marks the Spot---Another Reminder--Genograms
Until recently I had never heard of a Genogram. I am taking a Marriage and Family Relationship Course for counselors. In the book it describes making a Genogram (for more information just search the internet for the word genogram).
The genogram has symbols for individuals in each famiy. It shows who married who and who is alive and who isn't. Any symbol (person) with an X through him or her symbol is deceased.
So this is another reminder of Dennis' death. Reminders are everywhere. This one didn't hurt so much. The reminders are less traumatic as time moves on and one does one's grief work. There can be guilt with grief when one starts feeling better. I don't feel much of that now.
Recently we have received contact from Dennis' former wife. She had remarried, but is now divorced. I thought maybe she had married on the rebound. She has gone through counseling and has taken medication to deal with her anxiety attacks. I can understand her situation a little. She has taken her maiden name back. I can understand this also. I feel sorry for her. I always thought she held their marriage together. She is another person who has had her life changed forever by suicide. May God give her peace with her past, and help her find her future.
And for you too----if you have experienced a loss. Would you like to tell me about it? I'm willing to listen. Peace!
The genogram has symbols for individuals in each famiy. It shows who married who and who is alive and who isn't. Any symbol (person) with an X through him or her symbol is deceased.
So this is another reminder of Dennis' death. Reminders are everywhere. This one didn't hurt so much. The reminders are less traumatic as time moves on and one does one's grief work. There can be guilt with grief when one starts feeling better. I don't feel much of that now.
Recently we have received contact from Dennis' former wife. She had remarried, but is now divorced. I thought maybe she had married on the rebound. She has gone through counseling and has taken medication to deal with her anxiety attacks. I can understand her situation a little. She has taken her maiden name back. I can understand this also. I feel sorry for her. I always thought she held their marriage together. She is another person who has had her life changed forever by suicide. May God give her peace with her past, and help her find her future.
And for you too----if you have experienced a loss. Would you like to tell me about it? I'm willing to listen. Peace!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
The Remains
What terrible words it must have been for her mom and dad to hear. The remains will not be released. Anna Nicole Smith dead at 39. Lots of questions about the cause of death. A small child that will never be held by her mom again!
The "remains" only speaks of the physical that is left behind when air no longer fills the lungs and the heart has stopped beating. People are so much more than just physical.
Many questions are being asked about her death. But what about her life. To say that her life was chaotic is an understatement.
Here are the questions I would ask about her life:
1. Was her life a good example of how someone trys to fill the emptyness that many people feel?
2. Was her self-medicating a result of trying to stop the pain or cover up the hurts that many feel each day of their life?
3. Did she feel valued and loved for being Anna, a very special daughter, sister, and friend?
4. Were the changes she made to her body and her subsequent posing for Playboy a desperate attempt to feel loved?
5. Were the changes she made to body and her subsequent posing for Playboy a glaring example of our sick society?
One could ask many more questions.
Perhaps she found in death what she never had in life. Peace and comfort.
Do you know someone like her? Try to help them. And if you are like her, stop listening to the world's applause, for it is only the sound of one hand clapping.
Do you have peace? Not everyone finds peace in the same place. I don't know where you will find peace, but I can tell you where it is not found. Peace isn't found in the values of this world or pills. In Psalms 23 David speaks of a walk that everyone must take that goes through a valley. Before you take that walk I hope you find the peace and comfort that David had.
Peace!
The "remains" only speaks of the physical that is left behind when air no longer fills the lungs and the heart has stopped beating. People are so much more than just physical.
Many questions are being asked about her death. But what about her life. To say that her life was chaotic is an understatement.
Here are the questions I would ask about her life:
1. Was her life a good example of how someone trys to fill the emptyness that many people feel?
2. Was her self-medicating a result of trying to stop the pain or cover up the hurts that many feel each day of their life?
3. Did she feel valued and loved for being Anna, a very special daughter, sister, and friend?
4. Were the changes she made to her body and her subsequent posing for Playboy a desperate attempt to feel loved?
5. Were the changes she made to body and her subsequent posing for Playboy a glaring example of our sick society?
One could ask many more questions.
Perhaps she found in death what she never had in life. Peace and comfort.
Do you know someone like her? Try to help them. And if you are like her, stop listening to the world's applause, for it is only the sound of one hand clapping.
Do you have peace? Not everyone finds peace in the same place. I don't know where you will find peace, but I can tell you where it is not found. Peace isn't found in the values of this world or pills. In Psalms 23 David speaks of a walk that everyone must take that goes through a valley. Before you take that walk I hope you find the peace and comfort that David had.
Peace!
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Dennis loved the Dolphins
Tomorrow is the super bowl with my Bears playing the Colts. GO BEARS!
But I have been thinking about the Dolphins. You see, Dennis liked the Dolphins.
It is funny what you remember about people that you loved and are now dead. Dead is such a painful word. It has such a final ring to it.
The Dolphins are not in the super bowl and Dennis isn't alive.
I would even give up the Bears being in the super bowl and the Dolphins could be in it if it would bring Dennis back to life.
My friend Bob from church was a big Bears fan. I remember serving him communion on Sundays when he had cancer treatments and wasn't able to come to church. I wish Bob had lived to see the Bears in the super bowl but he didn't. I still talk to Bob when the Bears are playing. I hope Bob can still see the Bears win. I wonder if Dennis is still a Dolphins fan.
I love you Bob! I love you Dennis! GO BEARS!
But I have been thinking about the Dolphins. You see, Dennis liked the Dolphins.
It is funny what you remember about people that you loved and are now dead. Dead is such a painful word. It has such a final ring to it.
The Dolphins are not in the super bowl and Dennis isn't alive.
I would even give up the Bears being in the super bowl and the Dolphins could be in it if it would bring Dennis back to life.
My friend Bob from church was a big Bears fan. I remember serving him communion on Sundays when he had cancer treatments and wasn't able to come to church. I wish Bob had lived to see the Bears in the super bowl but he didn't. I still talk to Bob when the Bears are playing. I hope Bob can still see the Bears win. I wonder if Dennis is still a Dolphins fan.
I love you Bob! I love you Dennis! GO BEARS!
