Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Happy Birthday Son
Today would have been my sons 41st birthday--happy birthday son.
However, since there was a suicide there will be no card sent, no phone call made, no party planned, only pain experienced.
I wonder how many people will remember. Not many I would guess. I have been thinking about his birthday for several days. My wife remembered.
This birthday is easier than the first. The pain has lessened over time. I have "worked thru it", "experienced closure", and "moved on" as they say.
I thank God that our last words were, "I love you!" That makes it easier.
If you have experienced a loss or a suicide in your life I hope you can get to the place where I am. It is the best "new normal" that can be.
Peace
However, since there was a suicide there will be no card sent, no phone call made, no party planned, only pain experienced.
I wonder how many people will remember. Not many I would guess. I have been thinking about his birthday for several days. My wife remembered.
This birthday is easier than the first. The pain has lessened over time. I have "worked thru it", "experienced closure", and "moved on" as they say.
I thank God that our last words were, "I love you!" That makes it easier.
If you have experienced a loss or a suicide in your life I hope you can get to the place where I am. It is the best "new normal" that can be.
Peace
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Focus on Forgiveness for 2009
Many people make new year's resolutions. Some involve getting more exercise, spending more time with family or enjoying life more. All of these are worthwhile resolutions. However, I would suggest that you select a resolution that can transform you and the world around you. Focus on forgiveness.
Whether it is your own family or our global family, forgiveness can have a tremendous impact. For the global situation, can any peace, or healing take place, without forgiveness? What about the Israelis and the Palestinians? You can have all the Camp David’s and peace plans and efforts, but until they focus on forgiveness, there will be NO peace.
In Iraq there are people problems that can never be controlled by troops and guns. The Sunnis who ruled with Saddam Husein only make up 20% of the population. Fifty to Sixty % are Shia Arabs, then there are the Kurds 20%--You could not list all the atrocities committed by all the different sides. The solution can only be found in forgiveness of past incidents.
Our biological family—Do you know of a family where everyone always gets along, all the time? There is an occasional rift in any family, regardless of how functional they are. Families can exist but cannot coexist without forgiveness.
The benefits of forgiveness are listed on the Mayo Clinic Web Site. I found the following information there:
Researchers have recently become interested in studying the effects of being unforgiving and being forgiving. Evidence is mounting that holding on to grudges and bitterness results in long-term health problems. Forgiveness, on the other hand, offers numerous benefits, including:
Lower blood pressure Stress reduction
Less hostility
Better anger management skills
Lower heart rate
Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse
Fewer depressive symptoms Fewer anxiety symptoms
Reduction in chronic pain More friendships
Healthier relationships
Greater religious or spiritual well-being
Improved psychological well-being
What a magic pill Forgiveness is! Better than anything the biomedical model of medicine has to offer—and they have some pretty awesome drugs!
Soooooooooooo for 2009 let's focus on forgiveness! And if anything in this post or blog offends you---I hope you will focus on forgiving me.
Peace
Whether it is your own family or our global family, forgiveness can have a tremendous impact. For the global situation, can any peace, or healing take place, without forgiveness? What about the Israelis and the Palestinians? You can have all the Camp David’s and peace plans and efforts, but until they focus on forgiveness, there will be NO peace.
In Iraq there are people problems that can never be controlled by troops and guns. The Sunnis who ruled with Saddam Husein only make up 20% of the population. Fifty to Sixty % are Shia Arabs, then there are the Kurds 20%--You could not list all the atrocities committed by all the different sides. The solution can only be found in forgiveness of past incidents.
Our biological family—Do you know of a family where everyone always gets along, all the time? There is an occasional rift in any family, regardless of how functional they are. Families can exist but cannot coexist without forgiveness.
The benefits of forgiveness are listed on the Mayo Clinic Web Site. I found the following information there:
Researchers have recently become interested in studying the effects of being unforgiving and being forgiving. Evidence is mounting that holding on to grudges and bitterness results in long-term health problems. Forgiveness, on the other hand, offers numerous benefits, including:
Lower blood pressure Stress reduction
Less hostility
Better anger management skills
Lower heart rate
Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse
Fewer depressive symptoms Fewer anxiety symptoms
Reduction in chronic pain More friendships
Healthier relationships
Greater religious or spiritual well-being
Improved psychological well-being
What a magic pill Forgiveness is! Better than anything the biomedical model of medicine has to offer—and they have some pretty awesome drugs!
Soooooooooooo for 2009 let's focus on forgiveness! And if anything in this post or blog offends you---I hope you will focus on forgiving me.
Peace
