Sunday, June 24, 2007
The Memory Pill
Sixty Minutes last Sunday aired a story about a memory pill that one could take to lessen the pain of a traumatic event. The pill is being used to help those who experience post traumatic stress syndrome. Several people spoke of how much it helped them. One woman who had been raped raved about how it had helped her, even though the rape had happend years ago. The pill provided the only relief she had known.
My wife asked me if something like that had been available when my son Dennis took his life, would I have taken it? I think I might have. I would have certainly been tempted. I just remember this terrible, terrible, hurt that dogged me almost every moment of my life for several years. Some relief would have been nice.
However, I might have felt like I was trying to lessen the value of my son's life and loss, and not taken it. Another question is would I have come to learn all I know about suicide and grief if I had just popped a pill as a way of dealing with my pain, instead of individual and group therapy? I don't know.
The argument made my the proponet of the memory pill, is that we would not ask a person with several broken bones to suffer without some pain medicine, and this is the same concept. We have the means and so we should do all we can. I don't know if I agree or not, but I know I am who I am today because of what I have experienced. Some of those experiences I would have liked to have avoided, but it was not an option known to me.
What ever decision you make is okay with me. If you do take the memory pill and it helps, please let me know about it. Thanks---and Peace!
My wife asked me if something like that had been available when my son Dennis took his life, would I have taken it? I think I might have. I would have certainly been tempted. I just remember this terrible, terrible, hurt that dogged me almost every moment of my life for several years. Some relief would have been nice.
However, I might have felt like I was trying to lessen the value of my son's life and loss, and not taken it. Another question is would I have come to learn all I know about suicide and grief if I had just popped a pill as a way of dealing with my pain, instead of individual and group therapy? I don't know.
The argument made my the proponet of the memory pill, is that we would not ask a person with several broken bones to suffer without some pain medicine, and this is the same concept. We have the means and so we should do all we can. I don't know if I agree or not, but I know I am who I am today because of what I have experienced. Some of those experiences I would have liked to have avoided, but it was not an option known to me.
What ever decision you make is okay with me. If you do take the memory pill and it helps, please let me know about it. Thanks---and Peace!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Father's Day
For a father's day it was a pretty normal day. Although I had trouble sleeping Saturday night and was pretty emotional both Saturday and Sunday, I managed to focus enough to facilitate my support group. After a period of time one is able to go to remote functioning if it is required.
The group spent our time talking about dads both good an bad. Each had a story. Some were endearing and some were not. Such is the story of life.
As I begin group I told the class that just as there are not any perfect mothers, there are not any perfect fathers, although some mothers come pretty close.
I hope if you have become a father that you picked the good traits of your father and incorporated them in your own life. For your father's bad traits , that you took an opposite approach and used the bad example to change yourself for the better.
And, if you are a a son or daughter that you honored you father today with your concern and time. Perhaps if at all possibly I hope you said, "Thanks Dad". Peace.
The group spent our time talking about dads both good an bad. Each had a story. Some were endearing and some were not. Such is the story of life.
As I begin group I told the class that just as there are not any perfect mothers, there are not any perfect fathers, although some mothers come pretty close.
I hope if you have become a father that you picked the good traits of your father and incorporated them in your own life. For your father's bad traits , that you took an opposite approach and used the bad example to change yourself for the better.
And, if you are a a son or daughter that you honored you father today with your concern and time. Perhaps if at all possibly I hope you said, "Thanks Dad". Peace.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Kelsey Smith Found But Lost Forever
Eighteen year old Kelsey Smith was found this past week. However, the family learned she will be forever lost to them. The teenager so full of life was found dead near a lake in Grandview Missouri.
What started out as a shopping spree at Target ended with funeral arrangements by a family devastated by tragedy.
Her father described her as being able to walk into"... a room full of strangers and walk out with a room full of friends." Unfortunately it was another kind of stranger that changed the life of the Smith family.
How my heart goes out to the Smith family and all who knew Kelsey.
Among the many questions that will be answered over the next few months and years are:
1. Will this shockwave bring the family closer together or drive them apart?
2. Will any good come from this very bad event?
3. Will we as a society learn what caused Edwin Hall to do this terrible thing?
4. Will we as a society learn to protect the Kelseys of the future?
5. Will we provide the support needed for the Smith family to go on with their lives?
As with any tragedy there are so many questions. At some point in the future the Smith family must move from asking why, to asking what now. It is not a move easily made. The burden of sorrow is great and the lifting so heavy. Moving is so frightening when the landscape has changed, become unfamiliar, and threatening. I pray that the Smith family will someday be able to make that move.
What started out as a shopping spree at Target ended with funeral arrangements by a family devastated by tragedy.
Her father described her as being able to walk into"... a room full of strangers and walk out with a room full of friends." Unfortunately it was another kind of stranger that changed the life of the Smith family.
How my heart goes out to the Smith family and all who knew Kelsey.
Among the many questions that will be answered over the next few months and years are:
1. Will this shockwave bring the family closer together or drive them apart?
2. Will any good come from this very bad event?
3. Will we as a society learn what caused Edwin Hall to do this terrible thing?
4. Will we as a society learn to protect the Kelseys of the future?
5. Will we provide the support needed for the Smith family to go on with their lives?
As with any tragedy there are so many questions. At some point in the future the Smith family must move from asking why, to asking what now. It is not a move easily made. The burden of sorrow is great and the lifting so heavy. Moving is so frightening when the landscape has changed, become unfamiliar, and threatening. I pray that the Smith family will someday be able to make that move.
